Today the cloudy skies over the northeastern skies of South Carolina prevailed.The breeze was nice to the skin and the coast was inviting. The pleasant chirping of the birds and the dancing of the leaves added pristine appreciation for the simple things this small town brings. I woke up with a sense of renewal in my heart. I was grateful for the gift of life. Whispered a prayer. Uttered thanksgiving offering and invigorated my desire to begin to make this day productive even though limitations restricted me.
This unedited piece reminds me of my early years writing for my eyes only. Incoherent and filled with erroneous grammar entries. Yet I was able to convey what I really mean to myself that I want to chronicle my day and not miss a page. So I accumulated hundreds of thousands perhaps millions of notebook pages since writing in 1994. I tried to be consistent but end up missing in early 2021 daily entries.
I really do not know what to do with my collection. I did write a book about my life but it’s not selling. I felt more like a failure than a writer. It seems I am more of a speck of the bygone past. I was not able to succeed. I did not make it.
Yet, today I was nostalgic when I remember some struggles in the past. The feeling of nonchalant thoughts flooded my mind. My diaries and my years of entries may seem worthless but the memory of writing lingers on in the clouds of my own mind.
I remember the near misses. The ugly episodes of life. The hilarious escapades. And many more gems from the storage of my brain. My writing has achieved its purpose to remember the daily grinds and halts. So I encouraged myself to just keep on writing and sharing.
Just before dusk I thought of my past while trying to stay relevant in the present to map out my future. Ok, I need to start new today.
S-Save the memories.
T-Talk from the heart
This is what my thought processes brought me to write and share. This could be improved but for now it is a good start to be honest and confront the fear of failures of not being able to be where I want to be.
Tomorrow is improvement day. Today is a go day. No matter what happens write it down that things and reflections beautiful may not be forgotten.